Eight in the Box: Welcome Back, Parity

You’ve read that right, after a season of lopsidedness in regards to the haves and have-nots, parity returned to the NFL…at least for one day. Yesterday was filled with big games, big plays, and big-time performances. It was a Sunday of shocking upsets, superb performances and a stinker turned super. But with the top of league consistently showing that the talent gap is wider than many would like to admit between them and the bottom-feeders, it was a weekend that brought the NFL’s most valued commodity back to the masses: parity. The NFL prides itself on its supposed parity, something that they like to boast separates it from the other members of the big four sports. It had disappeared until yesterday, and its return was triumphant. So now (to the theme of Welcome Back, Kotter) on to the action. Welcome back, welcome back, wellllcommmme back…

1. The Super Stinker. Who would have thought that the best game of the day would have been between ultra scrubs Detroit and Cleveland? This game started out with the only people interested in the outcome Matthew Stafford’s mom and Brady Quinn’s hair dresser, but by the end it had become one of the most exciting games of the year. You know what this game was? It was the cripple fight episode from South Park with the Browns and Lions reprising the roles of Jimmy and Timmy. It started out quietly with no one really paying attention or caring what happens but after a few updates and shouts of “cripple fight!” suddenly the interest peaks and everyone was paying attention by the time Matthew Stafford picked his arm up off the turf to throw the game winning touchdown. Hell of a game between craptastic competitors.

2. The NFC East is anybody’s guess. The Giants, Eagles and Cowboys all picked up a win yesterday, but none of them were impressive in victory. The Cowboys needed a late touchdown throw to eke out a win over a terrible Redskins team. The Giants gave up a two-touchdown lead in the fourth quarter to the slumping Falcons and the Eagles finally found a way to come back in the fourth quarter to beat the brutally bad Bears. The Cowboys remain in first place, but with these teams playing pretty poorly right now, don’t be surprised if there is a little bit of musical chairs at the top before the division winner is decided likely in the last two weeks.

Mario Manningham's big day helped break the Giants' losing streak and got them right back into the crowded NFC East race. (AP Photo/Bill Kostroun)

3. Big Ben gets bell rung. In what was probably the most shocking result of the day, the Steelers got upset in Kansas City by the toothless Chiefs, but that wasn’t what should have the Steelers worried. What should is Ben Roethlisberger’s health. For a guy who has been crushed by oncoming traffic on both his motorcycle and on the football field, this is something that should definitely concern them. He has had quite a few previous concussions and the more and more he gets hit, the less chance the Steelers have to defend their title. But what this game also made apparent is that what I’ve been saying for weeks is indeed the gospel when it comes to the Steelers: Troy Polamalu is the most important player on the team. They’ve proven in the past they can win without Ben in the lineup, but they absolutely cannot function defensively without Polamalu. They become Voltron without the head, or Captain Planet without the Fire, they are utterly useless. The perfect example: giving up 27 points to the Chiefs.

4. Eli ends streak with best performance of his career. I just wanted to take some time to congratulate Eli Manning on his career high in passing yards yesterday, as he shredded the Falcons secondary for 384 yards and 3 TDs. His young receivers stepped up and made plays down the field and made crucial catches in key situations. Eli was pinpoint accurate after throwing an ugly interception on the first drive. And he had to be because the defense was again suspect. But Eli put the team on his shoulders and carried the Giants to victory, sans a running game or effective defense. The Giants got their first win in 42 days and now have to turn around and fly out to Denver on Wednesday to play the Broncos on Thanksgiving night.
5. T.O. still plays football. In case many of you were unaware, Terrell Owens still plays in the NFL. Even more amazing, he has been playing in football hotbed Buffalo all year and no one even realized it. But on Sunday that all changed as he made his presence felt for the first time since he left Dallas. His nine catches for 197 yards composed the third best performance of his decorated career, but even though he broke out of his dreadful slump, it wasn’t enough as the Bills still lost. But at least we know that T.O. is happy, because if we’ve learned one thing about him over the years, it’s that he’s like a frat guy going buffalo hunting: as long as he gets his, he’s happy.

As hard as it is to believe, Owens actually caught this ball and didn't let it hit the turf. (AP Photo/Phil Coale)

6. Bengals become Bungles again. I didn’t realize it was throwback Sunday, but apparently I just didn’t get the memo. Not only was TO back in the saddle, but the Bengals became the Bungles again, complete with David Klingler at quarterback and Carl Pickens at receiver. They looked like the second best team in the AFC as far back as last week, yet they went into the Black Hole and got usurped by the Raiders cosmic force of crappiness. After the Steelers lost to the Chiefs, the Bengals had a perfect opportunity to basically clinch the division and focus on a bye in the playoffs, but they blew it with a fumble deep in their own territory by Andre Caldwell. Losing to the Raiders after coming off a string of huge wins is like Heidi Klum marrying Seal: WTF, it’s unexplainable.
7. Jay Cutler indeed has a strong arm. I know the one part of Cutler’s game that everyone loves is his strong arm. Well guess what, JaMarcus Russell has a strong arm too and apparently their accuracy is similar as well. The Bears receivers routinely blew past the Eagles undermanned secondary, yet Cutler regularly overthrew his receivers, turning what should have been a Bears victory into the first game that Philly had come from behind and won in the fourth quarter in their last 13 tries. Cutler is playing with very little confidence right now and rightfully so because he sucks, but even Usain Bolt would have found it impossible to get under those throws from Cutler. Even after the terrible display of accuracy by Cutler he still had a chance to lead the Bears down the field in the final minute and either tie or win the game, but he did what he always does and threw an interception, ending the game. If you are unfamiliar with my Cutler infatuation, read it here.

Cutler also realizes he sucks, and it would get worse as even Donovan McNabb told him the same after the game. (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh)

8. The Broncos season is over. No team has ever had a 3.5 game division lead and missed the playoffs…until now. The Broncos will miss the playoffs for the third straight year, and the second after holding a 3-game division lead over the Chargers. They have now become Met-like, and that is not a good thing. Except this year they dropped faster than Michael Jackson’s pants at back-to-school night. Instead of subjecting their fans to a season full of hope and before collapsing down the stretch, they decided to get it out of the way early and choke before Thanksgiving. Josh McDaniels has done a pretty good job up to this point and they have more wins than anyone expected, but blowing a 3.5 game lead in the division is not going to sit well with the fan base. But at least they don’t have to deal with Cutler.
There were some other interesting notes from the weekend, as the Colts and Saints remained undefeated, the Packers protected Aaron Rodgers, and my upset pick was way off, but that’s neither here nor there. I did go 4-1 this week with my picks, barely missing out on the Seahawks by this much. But, that’s all for now as I will get back to watching what is turning out to be a barnburner in Houston and following my Terps crush Chaminade in the Maui Invitational. I’ll be back tomorrow with more on tonight’s game.