That’s a Big Hoodie to Fill

Hell yeah! This is one sweet hoodie!

My daughter is like every other kid in the world and loves to play dress up. She insists on wearing one of her dozens of Disney Princess dresses at least once a day, often multiple dresses in the same day and yes, even at the same time (kids do the damndest things). But her make-believe wardrobe isn’t limited to just fairy tale character get-ups; she also loves to wear Mommy and Daddy’s clothes. There’s almost nothing in the world funnier to her than wearing a pair of oversized shoes or a shirt that drags on the floor. But she’s only three and she’ll eventually grow out of this very cute phase as all kids do; well, most of them at least.

I say most because it’s become apparent that Josh McDaniels hasn’t grown out of that phase and still thinks that wearing his (football) father’s clothes is amusing, as if we’ll all crack up the moment he takes to the sidelines wearing a hoodie that is noticeably too big for him to fill out. Kids do it because they idolize their parents; McDaniels does it because he idolizes his mentor Bill Belichick.

The only problem is Belichick wears it well while McDaniels looks just as silly as my daughter in shoes she can’t fit into. I know, it’s the perfect analogy.

McDaniels was brought to Denver on the assumption he’s an offensive mastermind and quarterback guru. He’s touted as one of the brightest offensive minds in football because of the record-setting Patriot offense of 2007. But was he really the mastermind behind it or was he simply the benefactor of having a ridiculous amount of talent? He was handed the keys to an offense led by one of the greatest quarterbacks ever in Tom Brady. He was also directing an outstanding offensive line and had an all-time great at receiver in Randy Moss and super slot specialist Wes Welker to play with. He came up with some pretty nice ways to utilize their skills, but who’s to say that any other offensive coordinator in the league couldn’t have done the same?

A lot of the credit he receives also comes from the impressive season he coaxed out of a quarterback who hadn’t started a game since high school yet led the Patriots to an 11-5 record. What Matt Cassell did was impressive for a quarterback of his modest pedigree, but he had tremendous weapons at his disposal and was playing in a relatively weak AFC East. But Cassell’s performance made everyone a believer in McDaniels and in turn made McDaniels a believer in Cassell. So big in fact that once he was hired in Denver he wanted to bring Cassell with him.

The only problem though was that Denver already had a “franchise” quarterback in Jay Cutler. One who was hand-picked by another supposed offensive genius in Mike Shanahan. Further complicating matters was Cutler was coming off an impressive season that ended in the Pro Bowl. Now my disdain for Cutler is no secret, but even I admit he’s far superior to Cassell. But McDaniels took a page out of Belichick’s book by defying popular opinion and tried to trade for Cassell, which baffled Cutler and ultimately alienated him to where they had no choice but to trade him. McDaniels tenure in Denver was off to a rocky start.

That troubled start continued with his first draft, a certifiable head scratcher. While even the most novice football fan recognized the Broncos needed help on defense he used his first pick on running back Knoshown Moreno. McDaniels is an offensive guy and he was going to build this team around offense, popular opinion be damned. So not only did he dress like him, he had his attitude too!

But McDaniels was again America’s sweetheart when the Broncos took the league by storm in jumping out to six consecutive wins to start last season. He made silly fist pumps to the fans when they beat the Patriots and came off as a coach who still didn’t know how to handle himself on the sidelines. That fact was made even more obvious when the Broncos suffered their third straight collapse to end the season and lost eight of their last 10 games. That hoodie was looking bigger than ever.

But McDaniels continued to sell Broncos fans his snake oil, convincing them that he could build a winner. How couldn’t he? He learned from one of the best in the business. I mean, he even dresses like him!

For better or worse, McDaniels has hitched his wagon to Tebow and his questionable arm. (AP Photo/Ed Andrieski)

So McDaniels resumed his fire sale of everything Shanahan and rid himself of two of the best offensive players left when he shipped Brandon Marshall to Miami and Tony Scheffler to Detroit. Apparently he didn’t think Shanahan knew how to build an offense. He wasn’t from the Belichick tree so how could he?

McDaniels’ emulation of Belichick came to a crescendo in last month’s draft. Their need for a receiver was glaring but McDaniels didn’t want to deal with one as troubled as Marshall so he passed on the far superior Dez Bryant and opted for the unproven Demaryius Thomas. Although I think it was an ill-advised move, I can understand his plight. But what came next was inexplicable.

All of the draft picks he accumulated had set the Broncos up to make serious headway on their roster and find multiple impact players in a deep draft. But instead he threw it all away in what might be one of the worst trades in draft history when he traded second, third and fourth round picks to move up two spots to draft Tim Tebow, a player who is unlikely to have an impact for at least two years.

While I sat in Radio City Music Hall I turned to the person next to me and said, “He’s just as brash as Belichick, but not nearly as smart.” After watching Belichick work the draft board so effectively for years he must have thought this whole draft thing is easy. He looked at how deftly Belichick moved around and assumed he could do it too. I mean, he was after all the second coming of the Hooded Knight. He even dresses like him!

Its true Belichick liked Tebow as well, a lot of people did. But Belichick would have never mortgaged his future on dicey prospect, especially if he just traded for a former first round pick with untapped potential (Brady Quinn). But not McDaniels; he’s out to prove to everyone just how smart he really is. The only problem is he’s already blown up the offense to the point where even if Tebow were to play he doesn’t have sufficient weapons to work with. It’s a master plan with no real plan involved.

Through all this I’ve figured out exactly what Josh McDaniels is. He’s one of those people that make a living impersonating celebrities. He may look like him, and yes, even dress like him, but when it comes down to it he’s just an actor playing a part. Belichick has earned his reputation, McDaniels not so much. The Hooded One led the Pats to three rings, while McDaniels was just along for the ride. That guy in the Vegas show might look like Michael Jackson, but he can’t sing like him and he certainly can’t dance like him, but yes, he does dress like him!

Like those celebrity impersonators, and my adorable three-year-old, McDaniels feels as if once he puts on his costume he becomes that person. The only thing is the NFL has a funny habit of exposing weaknesses that even a large sweatshirt can’t hide. Even the disillusioned are eventually forced to face reality.

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